Article
Declining A Bag Offer At Hermès
Your Bag isn’t really your bag; well, not yet.
You can make a request, send a list, tell your Sales Associate (SA) exactly what you want, but until the box is opened, Hermès bag offers are a risky proposition. Even with a Special Order (SO) where you’ve specified the details, the craftsperson may have made a change (something I experienced when the stitching was altered; however, it looked terrific).
So what do you do when the box is opened and your heart sinks instead of sings?
You decline the bag.
The First Time I Declined a Bag at Hermès
While I love bags, for me, “getting there” is at least half the fun; I’m a fan of most of their departments (metièrs). I try to buy only things I’ll use, and I don’t usually purchase more than one bag per year. In my however-many-years of collecting, I’ve declined two bag offers.
The first time was after I’d been working with my SA (I’ll call him “Y”) for about 8 years. The New York Flagship had just moved to its current location; after months of no bags for anyone, the first weekend post-opening was dedicated to leather appointments. It was exciting: every client there was being offered a bag. I saw some incredible pieces.
Y was thrilled to offer me:
a Kelly Pochette in Black Swift with Gold Hardware.
…Black…Swift?
Well, hmm.
It was beautiful, but not a combination I was interested in. In my clumsy hands, Swift scratches easily, unlike heartier Epsom or durable Chèvre, both of which had also been used for KPs. I might’ve gotten past that if the color was exciting, but black, while useful and always in demand, wasn’t doing it for me.
After all the anticipation, I felt a little disappointed.
In that moment, it occurred to me that this situation was probably just as uncomfortable for Y as it was for me.
The SA practically jumps through hoops for every bag they want to offer, and each of their many clients has their own style and taste. When there is a good relationship, the SA’s job is part-Master of Ceremonies and part-Fairy Godparent. They need to balance keeping clients interested with managing expectations.
I felt bad about saying no, but it didn’t make sense to buy something I didn’t love.
I felt disconnected from the excitement surrounding me, but that evaporated when that KP was offered to another client. We were by the scarf counter when she came down with her SA to find a matching twilly for the handle; her excitement and joy over the same piece I had just declined made me feel so much better. It was like a bit of karma had been sent my way, and it made me feel good that I had a small role to play in someone else’s happiness.
A few months later, Y offered me another bag, one that still makes my heart skip a beat.
Double the SAs + Double the Clients = Quadruple the Stress
The second time I declined an offer was this past December.
My SA situation is complicated: In 2024, Y, whom I’d known for over 10 years, was promoted to management; luckily, another SA whom we both adored was transferred in.
X, my “new” Hermès SA (whom I’ve known for many years), and 2. Y, my “old” SA, who sometimes joins us to catch up or give me his input. They’re friends, and they keep each other in the loop about me as needed. At an event in November, my husband and I briefly chatted with Y, who indicated that X had been working on something for me that would happen soon.
We returned at the end of December; my husband went to find Y to chat, and X whisked me to one of the leather floor rooms. This was the second bag she’d procured for me, and I knew it was important to her to find something I loved; her first offer had been a bag I’ve been carrying nonstop.
She returned with a small box.
And two pairs of white gloves.
She was so happy to offer me something completely new: a blue box.
Now I almost couldn’t breathe.
She removed the dust bag, and my heart JUMPED.
Vert d’Eau. Kelly Elan. With Ostrich Feathers.
WAIT, is that Porosus Crocodile — ??!?!!
I had no words. No, literally. I started repeating “OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod” as though I had lost any useful brain function.
I had my gloves on and the bag in my hands. I’d never held an Elan before: it was perfect. I could see my sweet (and patient!) husband do a mental math calculation, numbers swirling around his head like in the meme. He commiserated with Y; he has his own opinions about colors and leathers. I could see him watch me; while he’s far more practical and realistic than I am (we are quite the Capricorn-Gemini pair), I know there are times when I can make it hard for him to say no.
“Get it.”
I was ecstatic. My first blue box bag, in a style and color I adored. I couldn’t believe it.
X had been talking, and finally I began to hear what she was saying…and there was an important piece of information I still didn’t know.
It’s a Kelly Elan, I thought. Even though it’s Porosus, how much could it possibly cost? (I know, I know.)
“$65,000.”
Sixty-five. Thousand.
That is, by the way: $55,000 for the Porosus Elan, plus $10,000 for the feathers.
I stopped. You’d think it would be hard to shock me with a price at Hermès…
…and you’d be wrong.
I looked at my husband. He looked at me. I told him we needed to talk.
Then came a moment that my husband and will never forget:
We had a very VOCAL debate.
In the middle of the leather department.
Him INSISTING that I should Get. The. Bag.
and Me INSISTING that was Not. Gonna. Happen.
Of course, I wanted the bag, but I simply could not justify it. Was this a major birthday, anniversary or other milestone event? No.
Was this on my top 5 list of dream bags? No. Do I still have children in college and graduate school? Yes.
We’re not young, and my husband and I have been very responsible with our expenses (ok, ok, he has been very responsible). Maybe at some point we will buy something that costs nearly what my parents spent on their first house. An exotic bag could be such a thing, but it would have to be one of a very few specific pieces, which we would both be comfortable with, at a time when we were prepared for it; certainly not a bag that I’d be afraid to carry, or purchased on a whim, while we had several years of higher education left to pay for.
I declined the bag and left with a few scarves – and THAT was totally ok! Of course, my SAs understood, and it gave the four of us the opportunity to discuss our expectations and limits. I wasn’t disappointed, or even upset; in fact, I felt a little relieved, knowing that despite the serious temptation, it was far beyond my comfort level.
Unexpected Benefits of Declining a Bag
Declining an offer may not just be necessary; it could actually strengthen your relationship with your SA. Every healthy relationship has boundaries, and this is one of them: what you are willing and able to accept. When your SA understands your thought process and where you’re coming from, it benefits both of you: communication engenders more communication.
Since SAs have no control over available inventory, declining a bag may be inevitable. It doesn’t negatively impact future offers; instead, it shows that a client cares about what they buy from Hermès, that it must meet their needs.
There is an additional subtext: that the client is willing to wait for what they want because they plan to remain a client. This is central to Hermès’ culture and valuable to SAs, who are wary of resellers and other customers who only want coveted pieces and nothing else. It encourages an SA to find a better-fitting offer for the client who has now demonstrated a personal and emotional investment in the purchase, and that they aren’t going anywhere. If undertaken thoughtfully, this can subtly shift the energy of the relationship to the client’s benefit.
This is exactly what I experienced originally with Y, and now with X, too. I received a happy text just a few weeks later, and was offered something exciting and more appropriate, which I can’t wait to carry.
